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ARM WRESTLING
BY ANONYMOUS

“Watch him. Watch how he pulls his arm closer and leans in so he can win.”

He taught us to arm wrestle early. He taught us that the secret was in not the size of the muscles or our stamina; it was technique. Even when we were 10, we all had a hand at trying to beat my grandfather at arm wrestling. When my two cousins, Andy and Henry, were 18, they finally beat my 70 year old grandfather. At that point, he retired from the business of teaching us the art of arm wrestling and it then became our responsibility to share the secret with our younger cousins.

Arm wrestling was among one of the many skills he taught us. It wasn’t until we were older that our parents told us he also knew the secret to growing, roasting, and making coffee, but that was before he came to the United States. That was before any of us had been born.

When he was young, communism in China had forced him to escape to Vietnam and work from the ground up to re-establish himself. Several years later he married my grandmother and had six children. He taught himself how to grow and roast coffee beans and created a successful business selling coffee in Vietnam. Not many years later, communists in Vietnam took away his home and business forcing him to once again leave everything behind and escape to the United States in hopes of a better and safer future for his family.

This time, he was already in his late 40s and was tired of trying. Twice now, he had lost everything he had worked for. For the rest of his life, he spent his time watching the children and grandchildren as they grew. Even though he never shared his secret for making coffee with us, he taught us that hard-work could get us anywhere we wanted to go in life.

He had had two heart bypass surgeries and I knew when I left for medical school I did not have much time with him left. On my last visit, I told him “I’m not coming home for two more months Grandpa.” And everything in me wanted to scream, I’m afraid I won’t see you again.

“Two months passes quickly. Don’t worry.” I know and that’s why I’m scared. I’m not ready for you to go. There is so much we haven’t talked about.

“Just study hard,” he said. And in the silence that followed, I knew he understood that I was saying good-bye.

One month later, he passed away in the comfort of his own home with all of his children by his side. Every part of me says I wish I had one more minute with him, but I know we have said our goodbyes. I miss you Grandpa and I’m scared of all time that I have to sacrifice with my family to become a doctor.